Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to witness before family and friends the exchange of solemn vows between (first and last name) and (first name) "WHO LOVES YA, BABY?" (last name).
If there be any suspicious minds present in the audience doncha think it's time to speak now or never - their love won't wait.
(First and last name), repeat after me:
It only took one night to get stuck on you,
and now my wish came true, you big hunka hunka burnin' love!
I thought you were nothin' but a hound dog, cryin' all the time,
but now I know you're my teddy bear
'cause tigers play too rough and lions ain't the kind you love enough.
So kiss me quick and love me tender for I can't help falling in love with you.
(First name) "WHO LOVES YA, BABY?" (last name), repeat after me:
It took a hard headed woman to make me king of the whole wide world.
I thought you were the devil in disguise but you turned out to be my puppet on a string.
I used to live in the hotel down the end of lonely street
but now it's viva las vegas 'cause I need your love tonight.
Please take this moment to exchange your gifts of love.
By the powers vested in me I now re-pronounce you "husband and femme" but remember, there is no return to sender. You may kiss your cousin.
Please join me in welcoming Mr. AND Mrs. "WHO LOVES YA, BABY?" (last name).
Folks, this has got me all shook up, so please love me tender.