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July 23, 2014  






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Get help writing your wedding vows

Wedding Vow Toolkit
Wedding Vow Toolkit






The Language of Marriage
The Language of Marriage
Readings for your ceremony, to help you write your vows, or inspire your love.






Writing Your Wedding Vows

Wedding Vows Shared in Love Writing Your Vows Together
Writing Your Vows Separately
Vow Writing Worksheet
Sample of Vows

Renewing Your Wedding Vows
Vow Renewal Template
Example Renewal vows
Elvis Vows

If you are like many brides and grooms, you want to write your vows for your wedding. Sometimes, however, this can be harder than it seems. Try these steps if you are having difficulty writing your vows:

First answer this question:

Are you going to say the same vows to one another or are you each going to write different vows?



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Writing Your Wedding Vows Together

If you are going to say the same vows to one another, it will be more meaningful if you write your vows together. Try the following:

(Click Here for the following questions in worksheet format for you to print out for you and your fiancÚ.)

  1. First, be certain to do this when you and your fiancÚ can be alone. You won't want others to disturb you, so ensure that you can have some privacy.
  2. Each of you should grab a stack of paper and a pen or pencil.
  3. Set a time limit for how long you are going work separately. Agree to rejoin each other in a half hour or so.
  4. Go to separate rooms. Make sure you are comfortable and not worried about being disturbed.
  5. Write a letter to your fiancÚ telling them why you love them. Do not make this short and sweet. Instead, elaborate, go in-depth, and be creative.
  6. Write 2-3 of your favorite times together - the times when you laughed so hard you cried, or when s/he was there for you, or an inside joke, or something that happened long ago that you haven't thought about it in a long time.
  7. Write down the scriptures, quotes, and songs that you are using at your wedding. Reflect on these and write what they mean to you or the most important part of them.
  8. Now, get back together and either switch papers, or take turns reading your letters and stories to one another.
  9. When you are finished crying and hugging and smiling, talk about what you thought were the best parts of each of your letters and stories. Are there a few things you can pick out that you could say as vows? To help you out, most traditional vows go something like this:

    • "In the name of God, I, Name take you, Name to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."


    • Here is an example of how you could write your vows with a "From This Moment" theme:

    • "From this moment, I, Name, take you, Name, as my best friend for life. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you through our walk together. When our way becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. This is my solemn vow."


    • If you need more examples, I recently read a 161-page Wedding Vow Toolkit that has a lot of examples and good suggestions to get you going. It could be very helpful to you if you are interested in more examples, and as of this writing, it is for sale for $17.


  10. Once you have written your vows, you will most likely want to talk with your Officiant about them. S/he may want to approve them and/or offer you some more suggestions.
  11. As a side note: After your wedding, if your vows were especially meaningful to you, type them up, print them on nice paper, and frame them to hang in your house. This way, you will never forget them and you will always be reminded of how special and sacred they are to your marriage.




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Writing Your Wedding Vows Separately

If you are writing your vows individually try the following:

  1. Get together with your fiancÚ and first discuss general rules for your vows. For example, about how long they should be (ex. 5 sentences), that they should use the words "I love you" or "You are my best friend", etc. in them. You don't want one of you to write a book of vows while the other just says a few simple things, so make sure to discuss this beforehand.
  2. When you get the chance to be alone, reminisce about how you met, what you felt when you realized you were in love, and how you felt when you decided to get married. Write down descriptive words for these feelings. For example "love", "forever", "journey", etc.
  3. Think about your relationship. Has there been a theme to your relationship, a favorite song, words you enjoy saying to one another? Write these down.
  4. Review how traditional vows are said.

    For example:

    • "In the name of God, I, Name take you, Name to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."


  5. Now think about how you can bring these things together. Think about what you like about the traditional vows and what you don't like. For the parts you don't like, how could you change them to your own words, to make them better?
  6. Start writing your vows!
  7. If you are still having trouble, try using our Vow Writing Worksheet and apply it to each of your individually. Do not practice your vows together unless you don't mind that they won't be a surprise.
  8. Once you have written your vows, you will most likely want to talk with your Officiant about them. S/he may want to approve them and/or offer you some more suggestions.
  9. If you need additional assistance writing your vows, I recently read a 161-page Wedding Vow Toolkit that has a lot of examples and good suggestions to get you going. It could be very helpful to you if you are interested in more examples, and as of this writing, it is for sale for $17.
  10. As a side note: After your wedding, if your vows were especially meaningful to you, type both of them up, print them on nice paper, and frame them to hang in your house. This way, you will never forget them and you will always be reminded of how special and sacred they are to your marriage.


by Kelly Kons
http://www.bwedd.com/truecompanions/

Wedding vows made easy.

       
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